V for Vendetta
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
*Inspired by Chenelyn Apocalypse, and GMA
A hyena
Preying upon lost lambs
Peeling their skins off
To wear on her neck
Tearing their flesh off
To fill
Her insatiable appetite
And she has her eyes on the kill...
So she has become
An object of hatred
But that is the thrill;
She savors it just as
She savors some flesh in her cunt...
Watch as she pokes her tongue out
Her greed
Her lust
Sew her salivating mouth shut
Staple her flooding womb closed
The megalomaniacal hyena:
Here's V for Vendetta
Crush... defile
That old, and vile
Hyena
One day, there will come a ram
To rake her viscera with horns
And she will bathe in blood and cum...
That's V for Vendetta
A hyena
Preying upon lost lambs
Peeling their skins off
To wear on her neck
Tearing their flesh off
To fill
Her insatiable appetite
And she has her eyes on the kill...
So she has become
An object of hatred
But that is the thrill;
She savors it just as
She savors some flesh in her cunt...
Watch as she pokes her tongue out
Her greed
Her lust
Sew her salivating mouth shut
Staple her flooding womb closed
The megalomaniacal hyena:
Here's V for Vendetta
Crush... defile
That old, and vile
Hyena
One day, there will come a ram
To rake her viscera with horns
And she will bathe in blood and cum...
That's V for Vendetta
Curly
There's a man, a handsome one
In his bed, girls would find fun
But despite his luscious beard
In his poise, there's something weird...
See, his hips sway as he walks
His voice, distorted as he talks
He's a man, so handsome then...
A woman trapped inside a man...
Any whore
Will find you completely
Edible
But no girl can taste you
'Coz only a faggot like you
Can grasp
What you'd love to
Shove up your ass
A mouthwatering bachelor
A fag twisted to the core
You've got exclusive games to play
Games fondled just by a fellow gay
In his bed, girls would find fun
But despite his luscious beard
In his poise, there's something weird...
See, his hips sway as he walks
His voice, distorted as he talks
He's a man, so handsome then...
A woman trapped inside a man...
Any whore
Will find you completely
Edible
But no girl can taste you
'Coz only a faggot like you
Can grasp
What you'd love to
Shove up your ass
A mouthwatering bachelor
A fag twisted to the core
You've got exclusive games to play
Games fondled just by a fellow gay
Glory Be
Ayaw mong kumain
Gusto mong lumamon
At laklakin ang dagat
Ayaw mong umahon
'Di ka pa malunod
Sa'yong mabahong bisyo
Ng pambuburaot
Ikaw ay isang perwisyo
Salot!
Pati musmos, iyong ninanakawan
'Di pa ba sapat iyong kayamanan
Na sa dami na'y ikaw ang natabunan
Pagkat lasing ka na sa kapangyarihan
Gumising ka
Masdan sila
Ikaw
Ay sinusuka
Sa kaliwa't kanan
Gutom at kamatayan
Iyong nilapastangan
Sa katarantaduhan
Subukang pakinggan
Kanilang kahilingan:
Ang iyong agarang
Paglisan...
Ahas...
Layas...
Salot...
Buraot...
Hayop...
Wala nang maniniwala pa sa'yo.
Gusto mong lumamon
At laklakin ang dagat
Ayaw mong umahon
'Di ka pa malunod
Sa'yong mabahong bisyo
Ng pambuburaot
Ikaw ay isang perwisyo
Salot!
Pati musmos, iyong ninanakawan
'Di pa ba sapat iyong kayamanan
Na sa dami na'y ikaw ang natabunan
Pagkat lasing ka na sa kapangyarihan
Gumising ka
Masdan sila
Ikaw
Ay sinusuka
Sa kaliwa't kanan
Gutom at kamatayan
Iyong nilapastangan
Sa katarantaduhan
Subukang pakinggan
Kanilang kahilingan:
Ang iyong agarang
Paglisan...
Ahas...
Layas...
Salot...
Buraot...
Hayop...
Wala nang maniniwala pa sa'yo.
Impulses
It's easy to find where your heart wants to be. Even when I was younger, I think I've never been confused as to what my dreams really were.
I looked up at Anna Kournikova, but no, I don;t wanna be like her.
I looked up at Cher Calvin, but I don't think I'd like what she does.
Lawyers, psychiatrists, politicians had fascinate me, but theirs weren't the careers that gave me heartaches whenever they seemed to distant from me.
I have seen achievers in my current field of study being awarded right in front of me. Of course, the envy is there but soon enough I understand why they were achievers and why I wasn't -- it's because their hearts are FULLY in this field. Mine isn't.
But I have the ability, don't I? And I'm using it just as needed... I am dedicated but not necessarily passionate because I don't have enough impulses to feel so.
Then I glanced at myself and saw the name "Anne Rice" about six times. And something felt like leaping out my chest. I knew I'd love my own name embossed on paperback.
And there's the news of Filipino indie films winning awards abroad... I knew I'd be thinking about it for hours or even days later. I knew I'd be imagining myself being awarded overseas for a very disturbing indie film I've made.
In reality, all I've got is a tragus. ANd two tiny inks. But I haven't been imagining my own needled appearance all the while; I've been imagingin my own hands embedding jewels and painting on a human canvas.
Enter the music of Ayin Aleph and I'd start dreaming my fingers had the ingenuity of hers.
Suddenly I realized I don't even belong in this B.S. school!
Oh yes, I should've been taking an A.B. Fuck!
Well, not really. Because I am aware that my ART side is dormant sometimes. It's not always as awake as it is these past few days. Simply put, my ART side SLEEPS. My LOGIC side, on the other hand, is an INSOMNIAC.
I'm gonna earn my B.S. in a few months time. Now my life needs direction...
"Excuse me, Sir. I am not TORN. I can see my life clearly straight ahead."
Everything has always been clear to me.
I would NOT become:
- a journalist
- a broadcaster
- an actress
- a painter
- a photographer
- a singer
- a doctor
- an athlete
- a call center agent
- an economist
- a whore
I MAY CONSIDER becoming:
- the president of the Philippines
- a psychiatrist
- a scientist
- a teacher
- a lawyer
- a graphic artist
I AM DYING TO BECOME:
- a novelist
- a filmmaker
- a skin artist
- a music maker (whatever that means)
- a model (yes, a model of body piercing!)
Then here's what I SHOULD become:
- A Software Developer
Now a few months before my B.S. is finally in my hands, here's what I WILL become:
I will become what I should become. I will love being so. And through that, I will also become what I'm dying to become at the same time. Then I will become someone who has a life well-lived, and I know, and I trust, that it's where my impulses will take me. So help me God. :)
Drug-free Junkie
Sunday, December 20, 2009i am the living proof of INTOXICATION without the need for any chemical intervention.
Today is December 19, 2009, about five minutes before tomorrow comes and I'm thinking why dates used to matter so much to me before when I'm getting this seriously immersed in a scribbling spree...
Once I get a seat with a pen and paper and start scribbling, it's so hard to stop -- my mind suddenly becomes like an overflowing dam or a waterfall that can't stop spewing heavy amounts of water... so hard to stop that I can't seem to want to put down the pen even if the callouse of my finger aches already. I wonder why this situation doesn't scare me...
Like a mouth kept taped for a long while, this one inside of me is ITCHING to be heard and it wants to growl like Angela Gossow!!!
Now this is PASSION. Give me just ONE audience and that'd be enough to make me happy 'coz I don't even need FAME -- I only need to satisfy myself... to scratch the itching bite!!!
I need a bucket for the juices in my brain are spilling out and it's kinda flooding in my head already I'm afraid I can't handle this... HAND ME OVER A PAIL NOW... SHIT!
December 20, 2009. 12:04 a.m. The "conflagration" in my head has finally been put out. But just the "conflagration" had gone. Of course there's still a lot of smoke. And when there's smoke, there's FIRE. I can't kill it.
Empty Face
i have reasons to believe
that a doll has all the luck.
she has
the perfect face,
the perfect hair,
the perfect body contour.
she gets to wear
the most fancy of clothes,
the best makeup,
the most gorgeous shoes.
she doesn't possess
anything disappointing to the eyes.
she is indeed an emblem of beauty.
she is a figure of perfection.
so, i have reasons to envy a doll.
i have reasons
to covet the beauty of a doll.
yes, i have reasons, so i shouldn't!
i have reasons, and a doll doesn't.
kick a doll in the face
and she'd still be smiling.
tear apart her limbs
and her face would still be the same.
too bad for someone too beautiful:
she doesn't even know it.
that a doll has all the luck.
she has
the perfect face,
the perfect hair,
the perfect body contour.
she gets to wear
the most fancy of clothes,
the best makeup,
the most gorgeous shoes.
she doesn't possess
anything disappointing to the eyes.
she is indeed an emblem of beauty.
she is a figure of perfection.
so, i have reasons to envy a doll.
i have reasons
to covet the beauty of a doll.
yes, i have reasons, so i shouldn't!
i have reasons, and a doll doesn't.
kick a doll in the face
and she'd still be smiling.
tear apart her limbs
and her face would still be the same.
too bad for someone too beautiful:
she doesn't even know it.
BAD Influence
It does feel good to do something "bad" sometimes (NOTE: "bad" is subjective"). Disagree? Well, just be true to yourself once and for all, you know how satiating it feels to DEFY. Of course, there's "healthy defiance". The unhealthy ones will put you to jail, kill living things, etc.
But this "healthy defiance" concerns just the little deeds that we do as young people -- playing pranks, casually lying to parents, doing some vices and stuff. These things apparently makes a young person appear "cool", but when the older ones do them, it's just not so cool anymore! Then there are these goodie youngsters who truly stick to clean living, but we know that in the dark corners of their minds, they are also craving to experience such defiances, too. And when do they actually do it? When they're older and way too uncool for it already.
Defiance is not a problem. It's human nature! No one can really tell someone what to or what not to do with his life. Most of the time, people know the right thing to do -- they just wouldn't do it because the other way around usually makes them feel better.
And define "right" -- it should be something that makes you happy. And if you are a sane person in the first place, the things that make you happy aren't the ones that have super grave consequences, aren't the ones that will hurt other people or cause some serious destruction. These are just usually the simple things (a.k.a. "taboos") that other people can't even explain what makes it "bad" to do.
So DEFY. Defy at the right places and at the right times and trust me, no one's gonna get hurt.
Not Geek.
It's not all the time that you can take being deemed "smart" or "brainy" as a compliment because sometimes, when people describe you as such, they also mean:
- that you are all books. You know nothing else but MATH and you can't do anything else. You most likely don't know how to do "cool" things. You can't dance or you don't know fashion or the only music you know are the ones you hear on the radio playing on the jeepney on your way to school.
- that you don't even have a face because you are all BRAINS. You don't have any physical appearance whatsoever and if in case you do, you look like the only organ you have: your BRAIN.
- that you don't know how to have fun and you can't define the word "happiness" because all you know is MATH and SCIENCE and HISTORY = you are a BORE and you don't deserve to have friends or even a spouse. "Marry your books", "Make love with your books", etc.
And some people can't fucking see through you beyond your intellect. They can't consider you as a human being and they are completely dubious that you also have the capability to be interested in the same things they're interested in.
Sometimes, these dumb people would say they admire you or they look up to you or they're proud to be your friends but tell them you like the same things they like and they'll laugh. Tell them you can do the same non-acad things they do and they'll laugh even harder.
So the "happy world" is only for those who flunk in school??
OK, I know why they can't let you enter their "happy" world.
It's because THEY can't enter YOUR WORLD where A BIG BRAIN is a requirement.
ALL HAIL THE ACADEMIC ACHIEVERS!!!
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